Today, dating shows are an important ingredient in China's cultural diet, with had a vastly different value system toward marriages and family. Meanwhile, divorces in China rose from , couples in to million. Chinese cultural differences dating after divorce. Transcript of Cultural Differences that lead to Divorce While my parents were still together they had a number of. That's not such a big deal as its fairly typical in Chinese culture, but the kicker is, China is no different, it just has its own potential for cultural misunderstandings and that is the key here. We all want that but 50% of marriages and in divorce.
These lessons from Yoyo Chinese's Intermediate Course features interviews with people on the streets of China. Relationships between Chinese and Americans Chinese woman and American man date. Locality — Where To Now? The women and her American boyfriend decided to go for a walk after having dinner together.
Chinese cultural differences dating after divorce - One comment
Her American boyfriend knew that she had been eyeing the shoes for a while and knew that the particular design rarely went on sale.
As soon as her boyfriend spoke, the women became angry. Her American boyfriend sensed that his girlfriend was unhappy and understood why. He tried to explain his reasoning. To the woman, his explanation only made the situation worse. They broke up fairly soon after the incident. Many American men think that is acceptable to act this way in a relationship. However, Chinese women believe that when a man acts this way it means that he does not love the woman enough.
Each has their own reasoning and the clash between the two points of view can only result in conflict. Lucy is one of my good friends, probably my best friend. She is a very daring Chinese woman. She is beautiful, stylish and flirtatious and has had many American suitors. Lucy recently told me a story about her American boyfriend. They met and are now in a serious relationship. In general, the American man is a good match for her and they get along well.
His home was huge and the grounds included a forest and a lake. The lake was filled with large and small fish. There were so many fish. We were so excited to go look at them and immediately began thinking of things we could make with them: Lucy proposed the idea to her American boyfriend.
She asked him if we could go fishing in his lake and cook a meal with fish for him in order to show him the Chinese way of cooking and preparing fish. Her American boyfriend was stunned.
He told her that if they wanted to eat fish he would go to the supermarket to buy it but they could not use the fish in his lake. After hearing his firm standpoint on this issue, Lucy felt awkward and put on the spot.
She was angry but stayed silent. Everyone else gave up on the idea and tried to shift the topic of conversation. Later, we found out why he had objected: He never caught them to eat; instead he bought nice fish food and went to the lake every day to feed them. Raising these fish was his hobby. At the time we all still agreed that the fish were not specifically ornamental and it should not be such a big problem to catch a few to eat.
A pre-nup before marriage My other friend and her American boyfriend wanted to get married. Therefore, before getting married, the American boyfriend said to her that he wanted a prenuptial agreement. He did not want to divide the assets he already owned with her and wanted his own children to inherit his property and wealth.
They would only jointly own the property and assets he earned while he was married to her. All of this, and they did not even know how the marriage would work out. The whole ordeal was quite unpleasant. Surprisingly, a widespread approach is for the mother to desert her child in these circumstances, as her chances of finding a new husband are much slimmer if she brings a child into the mix.
After all, they would not want to risk the well-being of their heir. This is added stress, made worse by the uncertainty of whether the family will stick to their end of the bargain.
As a foreigner, the courts will almost certainly not be in your favour in the event of an ensuing conflict. Divorce me, divorce my family A much discussed topic on cross-cultural blogs is the fact that any Westerner marrying a Chinese will have to cope with marrying their family too. When it comes to divorcing your Chinese partner, this also means you will have to deal with your in-laws being very present throughout that whole process.
This is a family matter and most likely grandma will give you her opinion on your reasons for divorce and what should happen with your child. Locality — Where To Now? Where do you go as a foreign woman in China standing in front of the shambles of her marriage?
When I think about this scenario I very strongly feel that a divorce from Mr Li for me would also equate to a divorce from China. In order to get over it and start my new life, I would certainly feel the need to move to a different country, if not even move back to the country I grew up in. However, this becomes quite difficult for foreign women who have had a child with an Asian man.
Particularly since in our culture the idea of not depriving the child of their other parent is quite ingrained, in case of divorce in a cross-cultural family the question of which country to live in becomes a big issue. This is a difficult choice for Chinese men, who are generally expected to return home to take care of the parents. The other option is to live in China, but as a single foreign mum, that is not necessarily an appealing idea.
Especially in light of the fact that single mums are still commonly frowned upon by some parts of Chinese society, I tip my hat to those mums out there doing it!
Legal Issues — Kidnapping Your Own Child The question of locality though is not merely an emotional one but rather can hold serious legal consequences.
If you do decide you want to go home, you are effectively deciding to deprive your husband of their child. In which case you are pretty much forced to become a kidnapper of your own child and your only option is to not admit to your husband you want a divorce but rather mask your escape as a trip to visit your family back home.
Susan Blumberg-Kason, author of Good Chinese Wife , faced a similar situation even within the United States, having to flee to the state of California, where divorce laws were favourable, before announcing her intent. There are other legal issues surrounding intercultural marriage.